Own your truth!

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH: Logo.©2007 FOX BROADCASTING

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend about making changes for the new year. She was having a hard time convincing the people around her that she had changed a few aspects in her life. My issue was why try and convince people about certain aspects in your life. Your truth is yours. Should you decide to be a different person than you were yesterday, that’s quite alright.

This though is not quite the direction I am heading with this particular topic but I felt the need to begin with it. My question is, do you own your truth? These are the things that deep down you know in your heart and perhaps only a few or none at all.

These are the things we don’t come out and say out-rightly; it’s that what you keep to yourself- almost ashamed to share it. Perhaps it is forbidden. Either way, at the end of the day, it is your truth.

I have thought about sharing my truth (s) but I possibly would have to take my account down after heh. It would mean, be vulnerable, open yourself up to people who might accept your truth or judge you for it.

I believe coming out no pun intended because it might be a truth to someone out there, is being BOLD, taking a risk, owning up. I wonder though is it really necessary, in-case its’ not well accepted, to own your truth or rather just bottle it up?

I’m still on the fence about this but I would like to share one of my truths today. I have a fear that what I believe to be my passion, my God-given talent- is something I’m not an expert at. I think that should come flawlessly, it makes me wonder, is it probably not?

Might I be holding on to something that’s not really meant for me?

What is your truth and are you willing to own it?

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The Year That Was…

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It’s come to the end of the year and so much has happened. I don’t know if I could put it all together without missing something and having to go back to it. I would like however to put down a few takeaways that I am taking with me into 2018.

At one point, I was in my dream job, Editor of a magazine that which I always wanted. It came just when  I was about to take another job and there  it was-with almost close to barely there experience -I took it on. Wait this was last year but fast forward to this year when I found myself giving up the reins reluctantly.

Lesson number one, never get comfortable; life happens, you need to always be on your toes. At the moment this was happening, I didn’t think I would get over it but I did. I’m not where I wanna be but its been great-funnily enough. Doesn’t mean by any chance I have given up on what I want, just means, I’m taking it a step at a day.

Lesson number two, keep s**t to yourself. Yeah, this is a song sang over so many times but naah, seems I like to make some mistakes more than once to prove to my doubter self that it is so. I made a couple of new friends this year, thought seeing as we hit it off, this was a safe space. It was not a safe space, Houston I repeat-not-a-safe-space! Oh brother  did this get me in trouble more than once jeez, Lord I pray this is something I learn and make a habit of-keep things to thyself-Every thing!

Lesson number three, say what you feel. Don’t get me wrong, don’t tell your boss, exactly what you think of them, see point number 2. But to those special people, tell them. Sometimes you’d like to hear the things you say, said back but it doesn’t matter. You might hear them, you might not, point is you never kept it to yourself-you’d be surprised how good it feels. Say it and leave it be.

Lesson number four and I cannot stress this enough, keep the people who are worth your energy, time and love around. For the rest, rid yourself of that toxicity-you don’t need it. If your job feels more like manual labor-except if it actually is-and it’s ridding you of happiness, leave it! If a friend is really just that by name but nothing when it comes to action, leave them. You’d be surprised how short life is, look at me, last year I was “24” and this year I’m still “24” like where did time go???  Just leave it.

Lesson number five and as I write this I realize I have learnt so much but I really should go feed. Its time for my after lunch, pre-dinner snack time and I need to give it all the attention. Can’t be writing and snacking something’s bound to go wrong, like my eggs getting cold! Anyways, I digress, the most important lesson I’m taking with me-learn to breathe and let go.

I believe in a higher power. I believe in God. I believe when I pray, things happen. I however am a control freak and try to control every aspect but sadly I can’t. Imagine being able to control every thing, life would be boring. Anyways I learnt, do what you can, do it to the best of your ability that way you don’t find any room to wonder what if and then just let go.

Things have a way of working themselves out. I believe God has a special plan for us even when it seems like perhaps he might have gotten your prayer wrong. Little thing I learnt, NO, he knows perfectly what you need even if this is revealed waaaay later on.

So even if you take nothing from this, i wish you would learn to let things go. I personally have done a lot of things I cringe about, things I wish I could take back but it already happened. I forgive myself for all I disappointed myself in, I reward myself for that which I did good and take note of how to go about things better. Can’t move forward looking back at the past.

So here I come 2018, hopefully a bit wiser, with less complaints, more gratitude and more bold!!

“Life Support”

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If you’re a fan of Sam Smith, then the title of my post will naturally( not really hehe) but lead you to knowing its one of his songs.  So anyways  I just happened to be listening to this song that inspired this post.

Originally this post was meant to be titled, Letting go but the song title seemed fitting, wondering now if the song’s meaning is the message I’m trying to put across….not particularly but it’s got something to do with it.

I’ll tell it this way.,

At some point I thought maybe I needed that ‘life support’..thought I couldn’t live without it. I thought that what I needed to do was get better and show you why you were that life support.

Deep down though I knew you weren’t, they told me the same, they knew you weren’t but why was I fighting so hard for you to be? Perhaps it was in the all the things that transpired…maybe i just saw what I wanted to see- heard that, that happens.

Not until the one night that you made it clear you didn’t want to be “the life support” that it hit me like a ton of bricks.  It hit me but didn’t break me. You never really know how strong you are till you’re faced with a hurdle. No this wasn’t/isn’t major bad -we need to remove your entire set of teeth and you’ll never chew again bad- but it still sucked.

I resorted to anger, made it easier to cope but as time went by, memories of you started to fade. I now know, I never needed you to be my life support-quite fine on my own-I’ll be my very own life support, after-all, I’m the only that can count on me, now and forever!

Fake Friends= Pass

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Last evening I received a text from a certain lady informing me whilst at the same time inviting me to her sister’s upcoming baby shower. “So what ?” you think. You should know this, the said person whose baby shower I’m being invited to, is someone who, I was with at campus for a whole 4 years, someone who I considered one of my best friends.

Someone who I would stop what I was doing to be there for. If she needed to go wherever, I would be by her side. We shared so much and I figured, this was always gonna be a friendship that would withstand the test of time- too much?  Let’s go with a friend for a long time.

Our friendship changed when she got engaged, something we’d been talking about for the longest time. It finally happened! Was this news relayed in a happy-oh-my-gosh manner, nope! I had to call and confirm that she was indeed engaged.

In hindsight, I really should have put the dots together considering how I love to jump to conclusions after my text goes unanswered after a minute! Sigh., anyways, this was followed by some shady moments after being added to her bridesmaids list- how I was still hanging on to a dying friendship..

Perhaps I didn’t try hard enough, perhaps-doubt it-but perhaps…we’ll never know..I guess this is a good time as any to mention,  Boy, do I love mysteries! Anyways I believe I am old enough to know when things have run their course and this “friendship” certainly did.

So NO, I would not like to attend your sister’s baby shower-given she had 8 and 1/2 months to bring it up-I would rather sit at home and watch the paint dry- no really, we just repainted, #truestory

18 Till I Die?!

I recently celebrated a birthday and by recently I mean in March., can’t believe its been like 10 months already! In a few months, I’ll be a year older and no I am not looking forward to it.

I don’t know where the time went; what have I done with the time? Do you ever get to a point and feel like perhaps you should have gotten so much accomplished..cos that’s me right about now.

I feel like I should be in a stable job, relationship and have a few coins saved here and what do I have? Well a few of these things …I like to tell myself.

My friends are out here getting pregnant, getting engaged and married and I’m just trying to find the cure for hangovers!

Don’t get me wrong, I have ambitions, I genuinely want to build my own home, drive a fully paid car and settle down.

Is it time yet- maybe, my age would strongly suggest it-but what’s the rush people? So I love to go out and love the occasional vodka and dancing on table tops. The last one’s strongly exaggerated, they don’t let you on tables anymore.

Either way I say, live life to the fullest. Your age shouldn’t have to dictate what you ought to be doing. Life is short, go crazy, have fun but be smart about it!

It’s better to do things rather than wish you did- is what I live by anyways.

So till next time, YOLO!

Wait, do people still say that!?